incoherent ramblings

a friend:

2010-10-21T15:27:00.003+08:00

he died two days ago while i was still overseas.

i was
unable to touch him,
unable to comfort him,
unable to say goodbye.

he didn't wait for me;
it was sudden and fast
his death.

now he is gone,
dead and buried.

what do i do?

Random.

2009-02-06T17:42:00.002+08:00

I was walking down Elizabeth St today and some Oxfam volunteers were talking to people. Then I saw this male Oxfam volunteer, and for some reason an image of his penis flashed across my brain.

I thought I saw him in some porno or somthing similar before.

Then I realised he was one of the models who posed for our life drawing sessions.

It's rather disconcerting to have images of someone's dick flashing in my brain while looking at his face.

hmm.

BACK~!

2008-12-09T16:38:00.002+08:00

In Singapore, finally!

Okay, so I've been back a couple weeks already, but still the feeling of home just resonates so deeply in me. The humid weather, the balmy wind, the smells, the colors, the sounds, the SINGLISH, everything just screams HOME!!!! to me.

Several people have urged me to get an Australian PR after I graduate, but I won't. Why the heck would I want an Australian PR? I like my pink IC. I like being a citizen of Singapore. I LOVE BEING SINGAPOREAN!

Singapore rocks.

woah.

2008-10-19T14:52:00.002+08:00

i haven't blogged in such a long time i don't really know what to write about. it's like i have so much to talk about and nothing at all to say.

but coles toilet paper is very nice. i likey.

that's all for now, until i think of something more intellectual.

ahahahah-

words of wisdom from ag.

2008-08-10T22:57:00.001+08:00

if u amazon many many like me

then u will know many many things exist

but only no many money to buy many many things

.

i finally

2008-07-18T20:08:00.000+08:00

watched KITE!

Dear Singapore,

2008-07-16T20:38:00.000+08:00

It's been a while since we've seen each other, haven't we? Yeah, I've been out of the country. I missed you while I was gone. I missed your scent, your touch, your warmth, the sight of you. I missed the feeling of you.

After all, I've known you my entire life. I've waved your flag, sang your song and pledged myself to you. I love you. I do love you even if I deeply resent you sometimes, because I see the reflection of you in me.

In the way I am insecure with my own achievements but gloat immodestly about them at the same time.

In the way I sometimes pay no heed to who I hurt as long as I get to the top and how I become tyrannical when things don't go as I planned - though I lack your dictatorial genius and ruthless ambition.

But most of all, in the way I try to gloss over my perceived failings and embarrassments while trying to pretend they don't exist.

Maybe some of your undesirable traits have passed on to me over the many years we've known each other.

I have realized now, that it is your vulnerability that draws me to you. I love you not for your sleek and fashionable image you love portraying to others. I love you for you. Who you are behind the expensive clothes and cosmetics.

I know it is hard to let go of that facade and perhaps even harder to destroy that perfect image you have been trying to maintain to outsiders; but surely it is more comfortable if you would let down your hair a little? Let go of that stomach you've been sucking in and wear some ratty black clothes once in a while. You'll be amazed at how comfortable flip-flops are when compared to the four-inch stilettos you always wear.

You don't have to try so damned hard to be perfect all the time. It's sickening to watch you castigate yourself over some stray hairs and a wrinkled blouse. You are human, not some fucking android. You're allowed some imperfections.

I know you have your insecurities, but so do I. We don't have to pretend anymore, since we're both in the same boat. The admission of your weaknesses will not lessen the love I have for you.

Listen, why don't we catch up over some drinks soon? Somewhere different from the wine bars you like to visit. Let's go for beer. You don't have to worry about a beer gut, you're still young!

Of course we'll go for Stella Artois, none of that Tiger Beer stuff.

Yet.

- - - -

something i wrote for stories.sg

not sure if they'll post mine up though.

i have this blog in any case.

aha-

ag in love.

2008-07-14T23:06:00.003+08:00

with plastic toy soldiers.

particularly those from Conte, The Longest Day (WW II series), German soldiers.

Set 1>>

Set 2>>

Musing.

2008-07-12T22:25:00.003+08:00

"In 1985 or 1986, watching my son Mike wheel his tricycle around the graveyard next door to our house that we used because we didn't have a garden, I thought of an idea for a story about a small boy who wandered into a graveyard and was raised by dead people. Then, deciding I wasn't a good enough writer, I didn't write it. Over the years I'd pick up a scrap of paper and try to write a scene from near the beginning, conclude I wasn't good enough yet, and put it aside. Recently I came to the conclusion that I wasn't getting any better. So I wrote a short story called "The Witch's Headstone", which will probably be chapter 4 or 5 of the book. And today I finished writing Chapter One of The Graveyard Book, and it's a real book. I know it's a real book because there are all sorts of things I don't quite know yet, and I can't wait to find them out. Happiness.” -- Neil Gaiman 02/15/07  

it comforts me to know that I am not alone in my procrastination of not wanting to do some projects because I know I have yet the level of skill to do it justice.

Again

2008-07-11T21:44:00.002+08:00

I've always attributed global warming to human causes. but is it too presumptuous and arrogant to think that humans have enough significance to cause this much destruction to a cosmos that has existed before we were even monkeys and will remain even after our disappearance?

I'm not very sure.

I need to think some more.

Would you like an upsize?

2008-07-11T20:19:00.007+08:00

Okay, so my writing style has always been sparse, but the last few posts are ridiculous. I don't really know why I'm updating this blog for anymore, because I think hardly anyone reads it.

But somewhere deeeep deeep down in that dark little tiny space in my hearts of hearts i'm an egotistical exhibitionist who thinks that whatever crap I write is so riveting it keeps people coming back for more; even long long periods of non-blogging and once-in-a-blue-moon posts can't keep them away.

In all honesty, I'm not really enjoying my time in Australia. And i've been pretty vocal about my unsatisfaction, well, to some people. I think there might be more for me to do back in Singapore than what I'm learning here. But fuck it la. Since I'm here already, might as well make the most of it. This change in mindset came surprisingly quick actually; after my first four months of moping and emo-ing here I thought it'd be the same for the next few months after my return from Singapore.

I've been enjoying my solitude since I came back to Aussie. It allows me genuine introspection without judgement. It's like withdrawing into my own world and feeling like I'm in a bubble or cocoon, cut off from the rest of the world.

Why is it so amazingly simple to have a change of perspective, and why is that change in mindset so easily achieved? And after achieving it, why is everything I think and do so different?

It feels like a miracle somehow. I feel happier.

That's a good thing.

Today's a good day.

On a side note, I seem to be delving more into words than pictures lately. This change may be a good thing.

Today

2008-07-11T19:46:00.002+08:00

i + music - bad starbucks experience + books + quiet spaces + nice architecture + live jamming on the streets = 100% awesome.

Today = good day.

hmm

2008-06-26T11:32:00.001+08:00

enough of emo-ness. now i'm busy, too busy to think about rubbish like that.

working and drawing!

woohoo!

return

2008-06-23T21:57:00.004+08:00

it's so fucking hard to make them understand that i'm not who i used to be four months ago. everything is filling me with a fucking sense of frustration, why is it so hard to be coherent when i'm talking to them? anger is clouding my mind.

i should really just shut up right now.

CHHHHHEEEEEEEEBBBBBBBYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEE KANNINABU CHAO CHEE BYE!!!!!!!

it's pathetic when the only place to vent my frustration is here.

really fucking pathetic.

why is it so hard to be content?

VOTE OBAMA!

2008-06-22T14:35:00.001+08:00

power to the people!!

Life in the down and under-

2008-04-05T21:58:00.003+08:00

hoo---boy, long overdue update on this blog. nothing much to report about the life in aussie, i am still alive. yes, that much is apparent. haha-

anyways, school is good and i've been drawing and taking commissions ($$$$$$). besides that, i've also been getting fat. how awesome.

but anyways, that was not why i wanted to update this blog.

there was a recent deluge of lost and found spam emails in my school account recently, and people were all in an uproar over the abuse of the school email system, etc etc, but luckily we have some smart alecs to entertain us all. buahahahah-

---------

ORIGINAL MESSAGE-

> Hi all,
>
> I found a ring seemingly made of gold in Baillieu library. It has no
> markings on it and looks to be a smooth continuous band of metal. I picked
> it up near a radiator though and it seemed to contain some faint cursive
> writings, though it seemed to disappear. I may have been mistaken.
>
> I tried bringing it to lost and found but everyone was busy and couldn't
> attend to me, so i had to resort to the email. I was wearing it at the
> time because i had no pockets and my hands weren't free, so my apologies
> to the owner.
>
> If this is your ring, please email me and i'll return it to you.

---------

REPLY 01>>

Dear Shou Farn,

I am currently in search of this ring. Last I heard it was in the
possession of a hobbit. It would be best for you to return it to me.
If not, I will cast my giant eye over you and shoot out Beams of
Hellish Fire (tm).

Please call 1300-DARKLORD and ask for my secretary Saruman for the
delivery details. Thank you.

Kind Regards,
Sauron
AKA Annatar, Gorthaur the Cruel
Dark Lord of Mordor

---------

REPLY 02>>

Dear Ms. Chung,

There is only one ring that:-

(1) is seemingly made of gold;
(2) has no markings on it;
(3) is a smooth continuous band of metal;
(4) has cursive writings that disappear after being picked up.

That ring is The One Ring, and it belongs to Sauron, The Dark Lord of
Middle Earth. I'm afraid you won't be able to part with it, because it
will be too precioussss... to you.

One Ring to rule them all,
One Ring to find them.
One Ring to bring them all,
And in the darkness bind them!

With regards
ONG Eng Ju Turkey

cos she's leaving on a jet plane

2008-02-05T00:45:00.000+08:00

from tiger airways that is.

HAHAHAAAA. not very glam, is it? to take budget airlines? :P

anyways.

ag is leaving this sunday

singapore-darwin-melbourne

AND I STILL HAVEN'T PACKED.

ZOMG.

note to self:

2008-01-29T02:25:00.000+08:00

never

ever

rub eyes

after

washing

hands

with

bloody.

mint.

soap.

ZOMG~

2008-01-11T12:13:00.000+08:00

ZOMG.

THEY ARE GETTING BACK TOGETHER.

TWIGGY AND MARILYN~

ZZZOOOMMMMGGGGG~~~~~~~~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOOH!!!!

then maybe manson will put out some good shit instead of the crap he's producing now.

YEAHHHHH~~~~~~

LALALA random.

2008-01-09T19:39:00.000+08:00

Random

2007-12-28T00:08:00.000+08:00

Santa's Workshop (1932) Original Version

i'm not sure if it is my nostalgia and longing for the days when people actually put some soul and passion into the work that they do that colours my ~~bias~~ perception. but really.

vintage cartoons pwn the crap outta the shit that the networks are producing nowadays.

i've been searching for this cartoon short for the longest time, and the only reason i was doing that is because the images kept replaying in my mind - even after maybe 10 years of not thinking about it.

these are cartoons that are actually worth waking up to at 7am in the morning.

really.

garrrrr.

random

2007-12-15T03:42:00.000+08:00

i'm on an unapologetic spending spree.

:D

i <3 rings! heheheehe.

will post up pictures of my new rings soon.

wahahahhaha.

went ice skating today.

burnt some calories

and skinned my ankles.

there's a huge watery blister.

when will it pop?

gross.

watched nanking today.

cried buckets.

along with shannon and chuns.

not recommended.

two cents worth of something.

2007-11-27T00:17:00.000+08:00

ARTICLE

VIDEO

okay, ~~if your curiosity hasn't gotten the better of you, and you havent clicked on that link above,~~ don't bother clicking the top link, let me summarize this for you. BUT WATCH THE YOUTUBE VIDEO.

1. some schoolgirl hit a aunty with her schoolbag.
2. aunty retaliates by scolding vulgarities
3. girl thought she was crazy, ignores.
4. aunty hits her with umbrella, misses.
5. aunty tries to flee, girl chases, and ang moh bf of aunty whacks the girls.
6. "helpful" singaporean uncles try to stop them from running away.

right... keep in mind the account of this story came from the girl herself, who happens to be a "celebrity blogger"... whose blog is named princess-michie. a typical fucking bimbo who is so desperate for some news-worthy thing to comment on her blog, she whips out her camera to start recording the happenings (after the supposedly traumatic attack by the shrew of a mad woman) and pushes people "EXCUSE ME EXCUSE ME" out of the way just to film the juicy details. maybe she chipped her nails while doing it. oh! another thing to blame the ang moh for!

as always, i am wavering between hilarity and a slight niggling feeling of discomfort. like in the case of the 3 britons bullying the old rickshaw driver, any slight scent of a "perceived" attack by angmohs (to locals, that is) is enough to trigger the instinctive bloodlust of xenophobic Singaporeans.

note the repeated usage of "YOU THINK THIS IS YOUR COUNTRY AH. THIS IS SINGAPORE OKAY."

i'm not sure if the "helpful" uncles were really helping out of the kindness of their hearts, or taking this rare opportunity to vent their anger on that nerdy chickenshit angmoh. this deeply rooted, normally hidden and taboo inferiority complex that many Singaporeans secretly nurse in their hearts of hearts, erupts like an overstimulated dick when something like this happens.

the outpouring of reactions on the internet,

1. U THINK U STILL OWN SINGAPORE AH? WE NOT YER COLONY ANYMORE OKAY. CHEEBYE ANGMOH.

2. OMG. HAHAHHAA!!

3. GO BACK TO YOUR COUNTRY LA KNNB.

4. oh my god, i'm so ashamed to be singaporean. you guys are so xenophobic, i hate you all! i'm ashamed to be asian! why can't i have white skin and blue eyes too? i love ang mohs! (okay. i'm exaggerating on this one.)

5. (in response to the above) you stupid cb SPG. go and lick angmoh balls la. (or the equivalent)

6. long theory on why we singaporeans are xenophobic, etc etc etc.

7. THIS IS SINGAPORE OKAY. YOU THINK THIS IS ANG MOH LAND?

the moral of the story is.

1. if you angmoh, act nice in public. unless you want a lynch mob after yer arse.

2. if you want to do it, make sure you don't get videoed.

3. if you do it and video yourself, + post it up to youtube...

SINGAPOREANS UNITE!

nothing like a little mob lynching of an ang moh to set your hearts racing, your adrenaline pumping and your patriotism blazing. ah. don't you just love being singaporean? this display of nationalism beats fireworks and PM's long boring speeches anyday.

<3

I TAKE IT BACK!

2007-11-24T13:58:00.000+08:00

all i want for XMAS is THIS!

OMG IT'S SO BLOODY AWESOME.

()*#@$#@$)(*&@#!

incoherence is becoming. normal.

SO AWESOME LAARRRRRRRR~~~~~~~~~~ ()*&@(*$&@(*&!@#)(*&#$@(&*

all i want for xmas, is youuuuuuuuuu

2007-11-22T19:18:00.000+08:00

because

You know that we are living in a material world and I am a material girl.

1. handphone. because my nokia is literally falling apart.

2. iPod classic. 80 gb. so i can lug my music collection over to aussie without bringing all my 12098347 CDs.

3. lc-a lomo. just for kicks!

4. vintage remington #5 typewriter. because it's so pwetty.

5. digital camera. convenient, compact.

random stuff.

2007-11-22T19:11:00.000+08:00

HAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAAA!!!!

i love this thing.

hide

2007-11-17T17:20:00.000+08:00

(pronounced hee-day)

Of the many artistes I listen to, there isn't anyone who rocks my world more than hide. Nobody even comes close. His intrepid musicality, his dynamic showmanship, the energy he brings to every performance, I can go on and on. There isn't a single song from him I don't like, and if his life wasn't tragically cut short, I'd imagine his career spanning international bases.

music is universal, but some are more universal than most.

RIP hide.

Pink Spider

Translated lyrics : credit http://www.geocities.com/japanesechannel_lyrics/hide_pinkspider.html

You spread your web of lies,
Thought your small world was everything,
Wounding anything passing by,
You though the sky was square.

"This is all there is... this is it, isn't it?"
You said... but that's a lie...

Your dismal stripes looked so sad,
A bird of pardise decided to talk to you.

"Get some butterfly's wings and come over here."
"Over there everything is just what you want."

Pink Spider "I want to go"
Pink Spider "I want wings..."

Not listening to the dying pleas of your captured butterfly,
You glare up at the sky.
"I didn't wound you out of hatred,
But I don't have wings,
And the sky is so high..."

"Go ahead and use my wings, spider.
But even you, who is yet to know the hardships of flying,
Will someday realise.
That you were only flying within someone's hand,
And that you were calling that freedom..."

Unable to fly properly with your borrowed wings,
Upside down you tumble to the ground.

Pink Spider "It's all over"
Pink Spider "But I can see the sky..."
Pink Spider "I'm a failure"
Pink Spider "I want wings..."

The glimpses you caught of the other side of the sky,
The birds go South.
"I'll fly one more time, tearing away these strings,
With my own jets,
As soon as that cloud passes by..."

Pink Spider, The sky is calling you
Pink Spider, Pink Spider

A pink coloured cloud passes the sky.

Rocket Dive Live

50% % 50% Live

Dice Live

NSFW! (nipple action!)

er.

2007-11-15T12:21:00.000+08:00

i don't know what possesses people to do stuff like that and post it on youtube where it can be potentially seen by millions of people.

T_T

humanity is going to the shits.

edit:

i wasn't refering to the omfgdamned awful "singing" + "dancing". fast forward to 4:00.

NSFW!

ag's wishlist for christmas

2007-11-12T15:01:00.000+08:00

00. get over my forum addiction.

01. to get out of this rut i've been in.

02. more time. SO MANY THINGS I WANT TO DO!!!

03. $$ to repair my powerbook. (sorry baby! i knocked you up, literally!)

04. a new phone. the old one's really banged up.

05. new shoes. my old ones are falling apart. gah. eying that yummilicious pair of converse shoes. black or red? $199.00 *sigh*

06. iPod Classic. so i don't have to lug my cd collection to aussie. (i still love you mini!)

07. new wardrobe. i'm stuck in a rut. time to change something.

08. for the mess in my room to magically clean itself.

09. box of G-Tec 0.4 refills to bring to aussie.

10. a rainbow.

this will be updated. LOL!

because this is so fun!

2007-10-31T21:35:00.000+08:00

RULES:
1. Put Your itunes, windows media player etc on Shuffle
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS
4. Put any comments in brackets after the song name

If someone says "is this okay?" you say:
>>Bat Out of Hell - Meatloaf

What do you like in a guy/girl?
>>Cold Rain - Trax

How do you feel today?
>>Petrushka: Dance of the Coachmen - Igor Stravinsky

What is your life's purpose?
>>I Am Movin' On - Ray Charles (HAHAHA!)

What is your motto?
>>I'll be - Mr Children

What do your friends think of you?
>>Petrushka: Peasant with Bear - Igor Stravinsky

What do you think of your parents?
>>Halloween - Dave Matthews Band (they aren't that funky actually)

What do you think about very often?
>>Toxicity - System of a Down (how true)

What is 2 + 2?
>>Rhapsody in Blue - George Gershwin

What do you think of your best friend?
>>Rebellion (Lies) - The Arcade Fire (best friend? who?)

What do you think of the person you like?
>>More than This - Roxy Music

What is your life story?
>>Misery (feat. Steve Tyler) - Pink (WHYYY??!?!?! not a good omen.)

What do you want to be when you grow up?
>>再见理想 - Beyond

What do you think of when you see the person you like?
>>Rapunzel - Dave Matthews Band

What will you dance to at your wedding?
>>Sky Stroll - Joe Hisaishi (Howl's Moving Castle)

What will they play at your funeral?
>>Centerfold - Pink

What is your hobby/interest?
>>Rain man - Cocco

What is your biggest fear?
>>Prelude (The Family Trip) - Marilyn Manson

What is your biggest secret?
>>Violin Sonata No. 5 Opus 24 "Spring" 1st Movement - Beethoven

What do you think of your friends?
>>Chinaberry Tree - Mew

What is your motto?
>>Lounge Act - Nirvana

okay. 95% don't make sense at all. HAHA DO THIS!

eh.

2007-10-30T18:30:00.000+08:00

apparently these spammers don't subscribe to the "size don't matter" school of thought.

Random Stuff

2007-10-22T13:42:00.000+08:00

Your Birthdate: July 30

You have the type of personality that people either love or hate.
You're opinionated, dramatic, intense, and very outspoken.
And some people can't get enough of you - they're totally addicted.
Others, well, they wish you were a little more reserved.

Your strength: Your flair

Your weakness: If you think it, you say it

Your power color: Scarlet red

Your power symbol: Inverted triangle

Your power month: March

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

You Are the Index Finger

You are ambitious, driven, and capable.
You aren't afraid to take responsibility for your actions - or place the blame on whoever deserves it.
You are honest, free thinking, and objective. You see things in your own way - and you aren't afraid to let everyone know about it.

You get along well with: The Thumb

Stay away from: The Ring Finger

What Finger Are You?

>> eh. i was listening to Year Zero by NIN ~~last night~~ early this morning, it's such a fucking good album and it made me feel like really terrible. truly horrible. i couldn't breathe while listening to it.

HAHAHA. so i switched to bach and gershwin. and all was fine.

Joni Mitchell

2007-10-20T02:03:00.000+08:00

i'm rediscovering her tonight, i didn't quite realise what an awesome poet she was, or musician. she has this delicate quality to her singing, her writing. a certain rhythm to her words and her phrasing. just pure genius.

there are singers, and then there are singers.

her music's so pure it makes me feel dirty and jaded when i'm listening to it.

Joni Mitchell - Big Yellow Taxi
arguably the mostest famous song from Joni Mitchell. <3!!!
(there are too many covers of this song and none actually worth listening to. except maybe the one by counting crows. :X)

>>the counting crows version

Joni Mitchell - Goodbye Blue Sky
(She didn't write this - actually it's a cover of Pink Floyd's song, but i like how she sang it)

Joni Mitchell - Cactus Tree

Lyrics:

Theres a man whos been out sailing
In a decade full of dreams
And he takes her to a schooner
And he treats her like a queen
Bearing beads from california
With their amber stones and green
He has called her from the harbor
He has kissed her with his freedom
He has heard her off to starboard
In the breaking and the breathing
Of the water weeds
While she was busy being free

Theres a man whos climbed a mountain
And hes calling out her name
And he hopes her heart can hear three thousand miles
He calls again
He can think her there beside him
He can miss her just the same
He has missed her in the forest
While he showed her all the flowers
And the branches sang the chorus
As he climbed the scaley towers
Of a forest tree
While she was somewhere being free

Theres a man whos sent a letter
And hes waiting for reply
He has asked her of her travels
Since the day they said goodbye
He writes wish you were beside me
We can make it if we try
He has seen her at the office
With her name on all his papers
Thru the sharing of the profits
He will find it hard to shake her
From his memory
And shes so busy being free

Theres a lady in the city
And she thinks she loves them all
Theres the one whos thinking of her
Theres the one who sometimes calls
Theres the one who writes her letters
With his facts and figures scrawl
She has brought them to her senses
They have laughed inside her laughter
Now she rallies her defenses
For she fears that one will ask her
For eternity
And shes so busy being free

Theres a man who sends her medals
He is bleeding from the war
Theres a jouster and a jester and a man who owns a store
Theres a drummer and a dreamer
And you know there may be more
She will love them when she sees them
They will lose her if they follow
And she only means to please them
And her heart is full and hollow
Like a cactus tree
While shes so busy being free

geh.

2007-10-08T01:02:00.000+08:00

updates on my progress>>

OKAY i'm now at the point where i can sorta use the chopsticks correctly, only that my fingers do not have enough stamina to last through the whole meal, and i'm kinda... it's weird to use the cross sticks now.

fuck.

it's like being stuck in chopstick limbo.

thank god for forks.

okay tired. blog more next time.

AHA.

2007-10-02T20:16:00.000+08:00

I'm (re)learning how to use chopsticks. because i've always used them crossed. which is the incorrect way. eh. so i've been dropping like bits and pieces of food all over the table, which is annoying but HAH. today, tonight rather, i can finally seat through one meal without reverting back to my habitual cross-sticks.

forgive the bad drawing. i'm lying upside down on my bed now. i can't see fuck.

andd... today is the 100th day of my uncle's death, so got up early in the morning, went to temple. pray, burnt money and mansion and car (my uncle is like -AT LEAST - i think a millionaire now from all the paper money we burnt. although the standard of living might be pretty high. i dunno.)

then went to the arcade with my cousins, two guys around my age. SO WE PLAYED ALL THE FUN GAMES. WAHAHA. especially the basketball thingy, i never knew the hoops could move. HAHA. SO FUN! and then i released all my pent up frustration and anger on the hit machines (those pop up kinds where you can just whack the METAL animals on the head. WAHHAAAHAHA) and then the soft-toy grabbing machine, where the prongs are fucked up and you end up wasting sibei alot of money. fun! i got on the DDR (dance dance revolution) machine for the first time. HAHA! XD so happy. because i got like. about 60 tickets, and exchanged it for a coin purse and a giant chocolate stick.

i love being a girl. because they always refuse to take my money. HAHA! WAHAHA. but then they also always play games that i can't play. like the percussion machine thingy. and like. win me at basketball. especially after like the 5th round when my arms were about to fall off.

we were cheating at the basketball machine, so got all the balls into one machine and continuously threw 3 pointer balls in a sorta twisted and fucked up relay race. and then the shop attendant came over and...like gave us the EVVVIILLL look and stopped our game halfway. basket. (balls.) HAHA!

geez. can you tell that i'm high?

and then more retail therapy, bought this really really cute bag with an illustration of nutcrackers printed on it. nice.

lala. i'm not making any sense right now because i'm so tired.

dunno what i'm typing anymore.

lalalalala.

had durian pancake. which was like. damned nice.

and candymix

and chocolate brownie shared with my cousin

and...?

i forgot.

okay end of post.

ramble.

in other news>>

-the MAADzine i art-directed is OUT! come down MAAD@red dot museum to get your copy!

-my wireless is driving me NUTS! BONKERS!! INSANE!!! GARH. it is like. disconnecting intermittenly, so my MSN conversations are screwed up, i have to turn off/turn on my wireless again, i dunno what the fuck is wrong and I AM SOOOOO PISsED OFF.

kns.

HAHA!

oh well.

omg. argh!

2007-10-01T18:41:00.001+08:00

i am seriously devastated. the website that used to be my online home in year 2 of TP is GONE. GONE FOREVER!

*cries*

it was this hate blog dedicated to ridiculous or rather, ridiculing online bloggers like xiaxue, dawn yang and the like. i spent the better part of my second year in poly actively participating in flame wars and online battles. (remember when i actually updated this blog like. once a day or several times a day? HAHA!)

it's all gone now. GONE. like WIPED CLEAN. OMG LA.

*CRIES*

>>in other news>>

i've been indulging in retail theraphy, bought nail polish (black, what else?), facial masks, dvds, vcds, a jacket (for ten freaking bucks!) More to follow. WAHAHA. if my wallet can take the stress. we'll see.

Note:

CONGRATS TO JO! eh, by your blog i think you meant the flickr? i saw your kid, he's cute!!!! let me figure out how to comment in flickr. :X but i saw him XD

ramble at 4.44am

2007-09-28T04:43:00.000+08:00

ahah. i have been rotting at home - as usual.

surfing the web nonstop - as usual.

watching youtube videos - as usual.

calling myself insane - as usual.

unable to stop - as usual.

it's business as usual at ag's brain.

wahaha.

and to introduce to you my new god

*Drumroll~~~~~*

SEO TAI JI.

the man who pioneered the hiphop/rap movement in South Korea, revolutionising the Korean music industry with his crazy shit ass stuff. (for his time) HAHA!

he started playing for metal bands, then hip hop and after breaking up with his band Seo Tai Ji and Boys, came back after a long hiatus to move into Rock/Prog Rock/ Metal/Nu Wave.

I LOVE!!!

end of post.

enough of depressing shit.

2007-09-21T12:15:00.000+08:00

BE HAPPY!

What's in my favourite playlist now:

(in order of love)

Kiseki no Hoshi - Kuwata & Mr Children
Sounan - Tokyo Jihen
Paradox - The TRAX
Haiiro no Hitomi - Shiina Ringo
Triangle - The TRAX/DBSK/BoA
Rising Sun - DBSK
Tsumetai Hana - The Brilliant Green

"WHaaa....?!?!?!?!?!?????" you say?

DBSK???????
BoA???????????

hah. yeah.

in other news.

i'm swamped with work! :D that's a good thing.

I'm not dead - Pink

2007-09-15T22:59:00.000+08:00

This is an incredibly weird point in my life right now, as i am contemplating my future and if overseas studies is would truly be beneficial.

On one hand, my illustrations are sorta picking up and i'm making a little money from them, and on the other hand, that greener grass syndrome is striking me with increasing regularity these days. Like. would a stable job be better? or would i be more adept in another profession?

I'M TOO YOUNG TO BE THINKING LIKE THIS LA.

whatever happened to sex, drugs and rock and roll?

in other news.

more depressing stuff.

an aunt - very close family friend attempted suicide. she didn't succeed, but is now in critical condition.

reason? she was drunk and was quarreling with her girlfriend.

i don't know what to think. tell me.

why are the people around me all attempting suicide?

WHY?

fucking hell.

Goodbye for real.

2007-08-15T10:27:00.000+08:00

i just recieved news of a friends death this morning, around 1am. apparently she committed suicide. and as much as i throw the word around sometimes, this really hit me pretty hard. because 1. she was my junior, younger than me by a year, and 2. she's always been the happy-go-lucky type. i never thought she'd up and do something like this.

i've always felt apathetic towards the issue of suicide. if someone wants to do it, why not let them? it's not a big deal, and if they want to die, let them. but now, i feel old. older. old enough to understand why my parents shake their heads and get angry when they hear about someone committing suicide. i am sad for her, but i'm angry at her too. i don't know the circumstances that led to her committing suicide, but it makes me angry to see so much potential being snuffed out.

it makes me almost laugh to think how i thought suicide was a pretty cool way to go. but really, it isn't.

not at all.

rambling.

2007-07-31T10:46:00.000+08:00

i had this dream last nigh - more like a nightmare. i was trying to draw a car, and for some reason it just wasn't coming out right. it was probably in a class setting. though i cannot remember very many details, the frustration at not being able to draw a car in the correct persective made me so pissed off i upended all the drawing materials on the table and crumpled that piece of work.

and then i woke up.

sado masochism

2007-07-27T04:59:00.000+08:00

there's this ulcer right at the bottom of my lower gums, and it's so fucking huge and fucking painful.

i can't help myself, i need to probe it, i need to reassure myself that it is still there, i am addicted to that little jolt of pain that the barest minimum contact brings.

if i were to venture a guess, i'd say i'm 80% masochist and 20% sadist.

just when you thought this blog is DEAD

2007-05-28T01:39:00.000+08:00

HEH HEH HEHHHHHH.

I'M BACK!!!!!!!!!!!

with a BANG!

"BANG."

Okay. now that that is done and over with. updates updates updates!

I AM NOWWWWWWWWWW..........

*drum roll*

a Waitress. :D

part-time, but nontheless, a waitress. I now walk in the time-honored tradition of starving (not that I am...yet...) artists struggling to find sustenence and pennies in a cruel world that doesn't understand them or their art who have to resort to being a service personnel TO STRUGGLE TO GET BY.

oh yeah. i'm overdramatising it, but i've gotta milk it for all it's worth. buahaha. anyways.

there's another exhibition coming up in JULY :D

heh.

okay, bye.

My first exhibition ever!

2007-04-26T20:12:00.000+08:00

Please make your way down to Red Dot Traffic Museum the first weekend of next month, because ag will be having her firstest show ever! :D

*ahem* better come.. or else.... *AHEM AHEM*

All are invited :)

<3

wah kao

2007-04-20T01:19:00.000+08:00

my eyes hurt from all that crying. have been watching Crying Out Love, in the Centre of the World.

100% guaranteed to make (normal humans i mean) you cry at EVERY FUCKING EPISODE.

i don't think i can watch this a second time. my eyeballs will probably be swimming out along with the tears.

bah.

crappp.... gonna have swollen eyes tml.

update

2007-04-05T01:50:00.000+08:00

i am in the midst of watching the most warped anime ever. with the exception of ebichu that is. WAHAHAHAHA. and after 2 nights of non-sleep painting a mural at marina square, my eyes are bloodshot. but i'm still propping them open to watch the anime. slow death this is.

WE WILL BE GOING BACK TO MAAD THIS WEEKEND!!! swing past if you have time. (and money) to spare!

of pimples and pain.

2007-04-01T01:43:00.000+08:00

there are several methods of getting rid of those pesky pimples.

1. murder. you pop 'em with cold blooded intent. get rid of them and wipe away the evidence.

2. homicide. you hire a contract killer to squeeze the life outta them. keep your fingers clean.

3. involuntary manslaughter. you inadverdently poke them, and the guts come spilling out. you panic. you get rid of the evidence.

4. self destruction. you let them kill themselves. when they can't take it anymore, they will commit suicide. you don't have to lift a finger.

now. which one are you?

this post was inspired by the pimple...(i'm not sure if it qualifies as one anymore. more like. ginormouse pulsing piece of pain) on my upper lip.

okay

2007-03-28T20:39:00.000+08:00

looking for jobs so far because i havent found anything i liked - pretty much still looking. dislike.

am sickened by some people. hate.

can't stand some others. dislike.

irritated by bloody morons. hate.

but you realize it's mostly in your brains. the corruption. confused.

don't know what else to write about.

end.

hmm.

2007-03-28T00:57:00.000+08:00

i've been busy recently. that's a good thing.

i've been hanging out with fangqi alot - she balances me. that's a good thing too.

i've been reconnecting with my relatives. that's a good thing.

i've been playing tetris, and gotten to lvl 39. that's a fucking good thing.

so it's been a good thing after the other.

great.

decisions, decisions, decisions.

2007-03-22T22:46:00.000+08:00

making my head ache.

here or there?

there or where?!

where is here?

here is there???

what is here but there without a t?

gah.

art is fart is making me mad.

geh.

2007-03-20T11:11:00.000+08:00

i'm addicted to the taste of kimchi.
i've been eating korean food two days straight.
damn. i wanna eat it now. NOW!!!

and yes merv, your g-spot is only reachable thru your ..................... . HAHAHA. :P

eh.

2007-03-18T23:33:00.000+08:00

apparently those pesky christian people over at the National Council Of Churches In Singapore (NCCS)’s have been attempting to criminalise lesbians - because they're just not satisfied with criminalising gays.

i believe "christians" who try to (en)force their beliefs down the throats of non-believers are not christian in nature at all. they merely hide behind the veil of religiosity to spray their filthy seeds of non-tolerance and hatred while being protected by an immunity shield.

if i say. i hate christians. i'd probably be charged with a racist/religionist (whatever term for this) thingy and have my ass slaped so hard in jail i'd probably break a tailbone.

but if they say they hate lesbians and gays, they'd be applauded by like-minded narrow non-thinkers of christian faith, and pray and cry in their congregation for the salvation of the dirty homosexual souls.

if truly there was a Jesus, he'd probably be sitting on his thorny throne, smoking his pot and say to his dad, these are the people i was killed for? how are they different from those who killed me?

his dad would go. "they shouldn't have eaten the apple, son. trust me, never eat the apple. it's bad and evil."

and i ask. if men weren't meant to be gay... why is their g-spot located in their prostate which is only reachable through their arse-hole?

huh?

tell me! WHY?

beatles is love.

2007-03-15T12:19:00.001+08:00

hmm.

2007-03-13T17:30:00.000+08:00

nearly killed myself laughing over the trailers for the new Channel 5 series After Hours feat. Utt, Linda Liao, Joanne Peh and random misc.

what nearly killed me you say?

Joanne Peh's face when she faced the cameras and said "It has witty dialogue"

and it cuts to a scene to her and Linda Liao (?) with her saying (not word for word)

"Men can't internalise stuff like that. The only words that register in their brains are Food, Sex, __________" fill in some random sexist remark.

This is witty dialogue?

oh how the not so mighty fell right into the toilet bowl. i realize local production while never stellar, have (...had?) at least PCK, Under One Roof and the such to make local TV slightly watchable. but oh

THE CRAP they're showing now...

and i think Joanne Peh genuinely believes it is witty.

bwahahahahahaha.

and in other news.

thanks for all the encouragement people! very much appreciated! :D

and...

nope. havent found a job yet.

will keep you posted. :P

hello world.

2007-03-07T00:56:00.000+08:00

okay, i'm graduated.

whoopee!

and my mom have just cut my allowance.

hurrah!

what to do what to do what to do ? ? ?

awesome.......

in other news:

it is very slightly embarassing how whiny i am about my mom cutting off my allowance. i think i'm still at a point in life where i think i am entitled to anything and everything without having to work for it. it's hard to be pushed off the cliff when one's wings have yet to harden, but possibly, just possibly, it is flight itself that toughens the wings.

it is only my dreams that fuel my passion, but in the end, you realize that without money, you can't do anything. i take for granted i'd be funded my entire life while i pursue my dreams. idealized dreams where i do art for art's sake and money is not a problem.

did you hear the loud splash? yes. reality hits you real cold in the face. like a tub of icy water.

i'm already missing my allowance. goodbye my friend. i will miss you.

-ag

am thinking of ways to get me hands on some moneh. moneh moneh moneh. legally or otherwise. :D

AM AVAILABLE FOR HIRE! FREELANCE DESIGN AND ILLUSTRATION SERVICES! FEEEEEDDD MEEEEEEE.

Diploma Show

2007-02-27T12:48:00.000+08:00

For those who still read my blog, the graduation show is

1st & 2nd of March, at the Temasek Convention Center located in the outskirts of Temasek Poly far away from every convenience. From 10am-5pm. Come to see me perform acrobatic tricks for peanuts!

As much as i want to be jumping up and down and screaming with JOY about my upcoming graduation, i find myself being strangely ambivalent about the whole matter. Could be because the stress about my Diploma Show and the money i've wasted on it. I shudder to think about how much i've spent so far - not including cab fees. Could be because i have absolutely no idea what the heck to do after graduation. Could be because i wish, that for just a little more, i could still be a student - not necessarily at Temasek Polytechnic. Anywhere is fine. I don't want to grow up yet.

The road ahead me is blank. like xerox paper white. not even a spot of dust on it. I'd always thought it should be diamond dust coated, reflecting the bright future ahead of me. It should be glimmering, sparkly white, but for now it's just plain, stark white.

a disappointment, i'm sure.

Yay

2007-02-25T14:46:00.000+08:00

H A V E F U N !

H A H A H A H A H A

H A P P Y

T O D A Y !

-

a n n g e e

hello world.

2007-02-18T02:35:00.000+08:00

mere words cannot describe HOW HOW HOW GOOOD i feel right now. no fyp, no fyp, NO FYP!

wahah.

and even more so the new year ang paos. I've collected my first ones today. BAHAHAHAHA. even though it will ultimately go to my Dip show funds. and of course repaying my $250 debt to chunz.

meh.

movie marathon with my cousin and bro(sucker only watched one movie) last night...today..? and returned home at 2.30am with china girl taking space in the living room refusing to open the fucking door. my poor maid, awoken from her beauty sleep.

CHEEBYE!

anyways. i digress.

Protege is a stupid movie, artsy fartsy wannabe and failing miserably. It is OVERUSED and CLICHED. China girl says her friends say it's a good movie. i say they have completely no taste whatsoever, pretentious little uppity shitheads. China girl recommended Hellrider if i was adverse to shows like Protege. Pisser. I'll piss all over you.

JUST FOLLOW LAW is a fucking brilliant movie. every singaporean with half a brain should catch it. Fann Wong was hilarious in this show and yeah, of course. Any show with JackNeo is bound to have overtly political tones. But I LOVE IT!

Epic Movie... is exactly what you'd expect it to be. Stupid, brainless, switch off your brains and watch it. Guaranteed laughs if you catch the parodies. But most should, it's too obvious not to.
WhiteBitch was funny too. Went like... (when reading an IM message) "The.....kids....have....es..kay..puu..der..... The kids...have...eskaypuuder.... The kids have eskayypuuudderr... THE KIDS HAVE ESCAPED!" and the shortie sidekick(literally) rolled his eyes. HILARIOUS!

I only woke up to what a MacHead i am when the WhiteBitch threw her apple powerbook at her shortie sidekick and only my (extremely loud) gasp was heard in the theatre. like *HERRRRRRRHHHHHHH!!!!!!*

and now to lament how apple powerbooks are popping up everywhere. Epic Movie...Just Follow Law.. IT'S FUCKING EVERYWHERE. *cries*

apple not cool anymore. there. i've just said it.

*ducks miscellaneous flying objects hurled at great speed*

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

don't you just love reading my blog? :P

update

2007-02-17T13:51:00.000+08:00

photos from my fyp booth.

and one more of jessica simpson looking stupid(er).

ramble

2007-02-11T21:29:00.000+08:00

i sometimes wonder if there is a person sitting up there, laughing at all our stupidity and misfortunes. or one who tolerates all that wreckage that humanity causes before striking out in retaliation. beware the fury of the patient man. how else would you explain the crappy weather these days, fucking hot sun in the day and cold wind at night. the world is doomed. everything is spinning off course. and we have no cause for complaint because we are the reason for it.

sleep.

2007-02-08T12:17:00.000+08:00

oh sleep, wonderful sleep! i've finally caught up with you after chasing you for godknowshowlong. i love you! you make my brains function and my skin glow and I NEED YOU SO.

monkey man

2007-02-06T01:00:00.000+08:00

YAY

2007-02-04T16:21:00.000+08:00

i finally caved in and got the latest version of ADIUM 1.0

YAY

it's got a black adium duckie.

and pretty interface. okie. fine. not much difference than the last one. BUT I LIKE IT.
yeah, that's gackt in the bg of my contact list.

gahah.

only gripe is the saladfingers soundset doesn't work. dang.

ah.

2007-02-02T02:28:00.000+08:00

a quick sketch for a design schoolmate who needed to know how to sew drawstring pouches. i strangely like the line quality of the drawing here together with the text. and it is of no relevance at all to this post. i just wanted to put this up.

so.

this is 2:28am in the morning and i am unable to sleep for the fact that i have yet again. no motivation to do my FYP while unable to go into dreamland. it is at times like these i curse the wretchedness of my existence and curse all of TDS curriculum in general.

that said. i just have to say how much i absolutely ADORE the weather these days. so cool i don't even have to switch on the fan. so cool i can wrap myself up in the blanket and read Stardust by Neil Gaiman and not feel warm at all.

awesome. and i should really be doing the bloody FYP right now. i just cannot seem to summon the strength to do so. not when snuggling in bed with a good book is so marvelously tempting.

what would be even more perfect is if i had hot chocolate or chai tea (a newfound love of mine) and a craneberry muffins. i love craneberries. love them to death.

i can't decide if i should be disgusted at my laziness or be happy that i'm enjoying the breeze coming through my window right now.

yeah. enjoy it. i should. :D

Okay. and since i cannot sleep, and stardust isn't holding very much apeal because i've read it twice already, i'll write about something i've always wanted to address, but couldn't really be bothered simply because it doesn't really matter - i hardly have enough blog readers for me to warrant justification. Just in the interest of clearing space out in my brain i'll engage in this verbal diarrhoea to clear out my brain because i feel there are too many things in it and i fear it might spontaneously explode someday soon.

The reason why i have chosen to keep my life(blog) and art(blog) separate plagues me every now and then. I do know of many illustrators/artists, etc keep a journal about their life and their illustrations and somehow in every post one finds that art/illustration is intertwined with their daily life. the decision for me to keep separate blogs wasn't a conscious one, for the only thing that i wanted to do at the time was to have 2 blog addresses. i know, lame. :P whatever! this blog is mainly for me to vent my frustrations, express my opinions and (very) occasionally a wittily insightful post or two, and the other blog for me to share my art and get critiques for it. but more and more it seems ridiculous to have two blogs when i am one and the same person with the same brain and the same hands.

yet i find myself reluctant to switch to a single blog because i've established two identities within the two blogs. with this blog, i can be more relaxed, the silly, the stupid, the whiner, the one with strong opinions part of me comes out and the way i interact with the readers of this blog too reflects this part of me. you are on a more intimate basis with the person that i am and i find myself feeling closer to you than the readers of the other blog. on phreaque-art i'm mostly a neutral person, like a blank canvas without personality and naturally, people respond to only my art (and not me as a person).

as of now i'm quite perplexed as to how to merge the two together.

geh.

2007-02-01T20:15:00.000+08:00

it sucks to sit in my room and do my fucking fyp while listening to the cats in my neighbourhood get the sex i'm not having.

HAHAHA.

DIE FYP DIE. DIE DIEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!

and kitty. shut up. please.

self portrait

2007-01-30T22:46:00.000+08:00

yep. thats me alright.

:(

2007-01-29T22:31:00.000+08:00

argh
argh argh
argh argh argh
argh argh argh argh
argh argh argh argh argh
argh argh argh argh argh argh
argh argh argh argh argh argh argh
argh argh argh argh argh argh argh argh
argh argh argh argh argh argh argh argh argh
argh argh argh argh argh argh argh argh argh argh
argh argh argh argh argh argh argh argh argh argh argh

help.

I swear,

2007-01-25T13:53:00.000+08:00

you live to irritate.
like a persistent insect,
hovering (hands spread)
the edges of my conscious.

Open your mouth,
an endless scream.
Somebody please gag them,
stuff a socket in.

please.

Mama, Mama,
carried away in the womb,
abortion isn't illegal.

I swear,
you live to irritate.

bored.

2007-01-23T17:14:00.000+08:00

yes you can tell. i wanna eat pastaaaaa....
T_T

doing my fyp now. in school. with the loooouuuuussssyyyy connection and waiting to use the bloody scanner.

...

2007-01-23T09:17:00.000+08:00

i woke up this morning with William Hung singing She Bangs in my head.

not a good omen. definitely not a good omen.

ARGHHHHHHHHHH

2007-01-22T09:41:00.000+08:00

HOWWW DAAAREEE YOUUUUUUUUU FUCKING SINGTELLLLLLL!!!!!!!!
BLOCK MY FANFICTION!!!!! YOU BASSTARRRRDDDSSSS!!!!

FUUUUUUCK YOU!!!!!

DIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!

ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH ! ! ! ! !

fuck fuck fuck. assholes.

GYABO!

2007-01-21T14:02:00.000+08:00

chiaki sempai.... kakkoi ne~~~~~

cover of my zine. first issue.

i'm going to dieeeeeeee...........

good byeeee....

btw. did you know.

• The nursery rhyme Ring Around the Rosey is a rhyme about the bubonic plague. Infected people with the plague would get red circular sores (Ring around the Rosey…). These sores would smell very bad so people would hide flowers on their bodies in an attempt to mask the smell (”pocket full of posies…”). People who died from the plague would be burned to reduce the spread of the disease (”ashes, ashes, we all fall down”).

• MARILYN MANSON IS DIVORCED. ARGH! okie. i knew it sometime back. but i just forgot to post it. ARGH!

YAYYYYYYY

2007-01-20T10:05:00.000+08:00

i still love you desmond! THANKS!!! SO MUCH!!! love my website!!! XDDDD

anyways. i've switched to blogger gmail thing. will get a flickr account soon.

+

FYP SUCKS!

that's all.

merchandise merchandise merchandise.

2007-01-18T20:32:00.000+08:00

HOLY CRAPPPP

MY WEBSITE LOOOKSSS GOOOOOODDDDD

LOVVVVVVVVVVVVVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE <3 desmond! XD

happy happy happy happyyyy!!!!!!

nyahahahhahahhahaha.

haiya. there's this siao ting tong banging on the piano in my block.

fucking nice.
hateeeeeeeeeee..........

hate hateeee.....

jealous. :(

late nights not good. my face is now home to countless pimples.

bahhhh. and the dark eyebags. lets not even go there.

rambling nonsensical sleep deprived musing

2007-01-17T18:44:00.000+08:00

here i am watching the sun set and bathe the neighbourhood in bright orange light, listening to yo-yo ma on my iTunes and looking at the rain through the metal grills of my window and it strikes me as funny. isn't it supposed to be grey when it rains? why then, is it so hot and humid still? the heat is killing me and i have my fan on still looking at the rain while cursing at the sun.

and just as suddenly as it starts, it stopped. kind of stopped anyways. i can't really see the droplets of rain but i still hear it falling. or maybe it's because of my vision? it always amazes me how fast the sun sets and the way the colours in the sky changes.

i always like spelling colour with a "u" as opposed to color. why is that i wonder? that makes me like one over the other? is it not a waste of pen ink while writing?

now it's a faint bluish pink tinged with a bit of orange. because the sunlight's so strong, it sorta dilutes the colours. the most vibrant colours almost always comes when the sun is about to go away i think. then when the sun changes position with the moon, it wants to let us remember him. what arrogant thinking that the sun revolves around us. and why do i instinctively refer to the sun as a him? an unconscious reference to Apollo? i wonder. even the name "sun" seems masculine to the ear.

some kid is squeaking his squeaky toy right now.

squeak squeak squeak.

now the rain really has stopped. but the sky is grey.

what irony. is it laughing at me i wonder. for writing an entire post about bright rainy skies.

bloop bloop bloop.

GAHAH.

2007-01-15T15:13:00.000+08:00

hello lovelies.

i sound so gay. :D

this is my FINAL YEAR PROJECT. or part of it anyways. geheh. i realize you can't see shit from the tiny weeny itsy bitsy images... but i'll still post it up nontheless. just to show you that i've been working hard. and to whet your appetites for more. :P

oh yes. it'll probably be available for sale. :D *kaching!* but of course. friends get preferential treatment. :D i'll give you more free stuff.

i'm shameless i know. and on a side note. ag has matured a lot since...infancy? infantile days? in secondary school. buried some hatchets, reconciled with people from my past. and yada yada yada.

i'm a nice person. :D

introspection

2007-01-09T22:29:00.000+08:00

i realized that actually when it comes to conceptual illustration, i'm an extremely slow worker. when i plan to draw something, i usually take at least 5 times more the time i need to compared with a spontaneous drawing - probably because i usually don't have a plan when i begin drawing. sometimes i see where the lines take me, sometimes i have a vague visual or concept, and this excites me because i don't know how the drawing will end up taking me.

but with a planned piece, i lose interest extremely quickly.

like. EXTREMELY.

which is why i like to work on several illustrations simultaneously, or stop drawing for a while and take a break, read the news, eat ice cream, stuff like that throughout the day. BAHAHAHAHHA. *excuses, excuses! for being a lazy slacker :P* i don't think it's detrimental though. it helps with idea generation sometimes. you take a break from it and then you see it from a fresh perspective. what you can put in to improve the drawing, what should be left out, etc, etc...

the more drawings that i do, the more i fall in love with drawing. but when i surf the web and i see artists more accomplished than i am, i get jealous. and my jealousy fits makes me so much more determined to improve my art. so i draw some more. and then i fall in love again. it's a weird cycle, but it's something i can see me doing for my entire life.

NO TIME IS WASTED WHEN DRAWING!

i read this blog entry by a fellow illustrator and it totally blows my mind away because it is exactly what i would have written if i actually bothered to sit down and type away at a blog entry. so i'll be lazy and apple+c, apple+v everything here.

it's quite a lengthy post so brace yourselves - if you actually read it, that is.

"Most of the time, I don't have a plan when I draw. Well, I have a plan in that I'm trying to draw something, but beyond that I find that it sort of evolves, often into something completely unrelated to the original. Here, I started out trying to draw a beautiful woman. Somehow it evolved into something androgynous and unrecognizable in comparison to the photo that was my inspiration.

It made me think about this article that I read in Wired Magazine about the nature of artistic genius. Economist David Galenson did a study of artists and discovered that there were two basic types--those who created their most valuable work in their youth and those that seemed to experience a steady rise in their creativity that peaked toward the end of their lives. Further exploration revealed to him that there are essentially two kinds of innovation and genius.

The first is what he calls conceptual innovation. These are the people who have a picture in their minds of what they want to create and in a series of bold, sharp moves they create it. Picasso is an example of this type--someone who created an entirely new style of art (Cubism) and who "jolted art in a new direction."

The second group are the experimental innovators. These people progress in fits and starts, trying new things, discarding them, moving in a slower progression with insights from one small experiment getting incorporated into the next in an evolutionary process that ultimately can end up someplace entirely different from where they began. Galenson places Cezanne in this second group--working endlessly to perfect his technique, he moved slowly toward a goal that he never fully understood. As a result, some of his best work didn't come until the end of his life.

Galenson argues that this insight isn't confined to art, that it is, in fact, a way of looking at all sorts of creativity and innovation. He applied it in his own field of study--economics--and discovered that it held true for them, too.

Reading this created one of those "aha" moments for me. In all facets of my life I find that I'm more experimental than conceptual. I tinker and play around with things, never totally sure where I'm going, but knowing when I get there. I find that I'm often jealous, though, of those who are more conceptual, particularly when it comes to creating art. Somehow it seems to me that the essence of being an artist is knowing where you're going. Intellectually I know this isn't true, but emotionally, I have a hard time letting go of that proposition.

I think that part of my discomfort with the more experimental approach is the feeling that I get that our society values conceptual innovation more. We're drawn to early genius and to the idea of having a clear, knowable path. Somehow there's a kind of comfort in believing that people know where their going and what they're doing and the idea of evolution of ideas is disconcerting--what if they end up some place that we don't like?

I find, though, that lately I'm getting more comfortable with this more experimental way of living. I'm trying to actually be thoughtful in my experimentation, to know and accept that it's my own way of getting through life. I'm working on accepting that and being OK with uncertainty. It also means having to let go of perfectionism and embracing risk, but hey, at almost 43 years old, isn't it time that I did those things anyway?"

taken from http://lovekandinsky.blogspot.com/

and i shall post up some of my FYP illustrations soon! prolly just photos tho.

>>back to work!

GEHHHH!!!

2007-01-09T16:50:00.000+08:00

PEGGY IS EVIL EVIL EVIL EVIIIILLLLL!!!!!!!!!!! 6 spreadss by friday! NOOOOOOOO!

my doggy likes to step on my drawings while i'm drawing. damn dog. i think he's jealous i don't pay any attention to him. BAH.

2007-01-06T14:25:00.000+08:00

Britney Spears Has a Bald Front Bum!

heh.

erhx...

2007-01-06T03:46:00.000+08:00

i dun geddit u noe?

y do the peepz fr all e gud skulz lyk 2 type lyk dis lehx? n i do mean gud skulz.

i find it fucking irritating.

you turds.

*edit*

okay updates. it is now 4.16am in the morning and...

ag's fyp is...sorta....kina.......possibly going according to plan a.k.a. MISSION TO ACCOMPLISH FYP BEFORE DEADLINE ON FEB 14th.

i don'ot know why i'm so hung up about the fact that it is on the Feb of 14th. I mean, I don't have anybody special (in that way) to celebrate it with, I don't even like that occasion, and I especially loathe watching couples having a free-for-all PDA session 24/7 at all locations. it's just sick.

bah.

I suppose i should be glad that we have such... depraved lecturers in school then.

>> so many people have asked me what the hell i'm doing for my fyp but walked away thoroughly confused. nyahah. ag is doing a ZINE!

what's a zine you ask?

according to dictionary.com, it is a

zine also 'zine (zēn) Pronunciation Key
n.
An inexpensively produced, self-published, underground publication

read more about the zine at wikipedia, the most trusted online encyclopedia. i loves wiki. XD ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zine )

okay, so you now know what a zine is. the question remains. wtf are you doing for your fyp?

ILLUSTRATION BABY. i'm doing an illustrated zine. and if all goes well, it'll be up for SALE. *kaching* i hear the registers ringing.

i'm high. can you tell that i'm high?

i'm like extremely high on i have no idea what.

2007-01-03T13:09:00.000+08:00

Toybox - Tarzan and Jane

brings back good memories huh? :P

first post of the new year

2007-01-01T18:11:00.000+08:00

finger on mousepad. forgive my laziness. i cannot be bothered to locate my tablet. T_T

ohhhhh myyyyy gooooodddddddddddd......

i feel like cartman after he's been through the warcraft marathon thing. like bloated and fat and everything T_T

OH YES. happy new year to E V E R Y B O D Y ! ! !

i can smell my mom's cooking downstairs. wheehehehehehehe. ba kut teh amongst other stuff ^_^

and this will be the last post in a while, i'll be focusing on my Final Year Project.

thanks everyone! love you guys! all the best in the New Year!

2006-12-31T20:35:00.000+08:00

Fish Synchronized Swimming

Okay, this is one of the more WTF? videos i've seen in a while. awesomely incredible. i have no idea to what extent it is manipulated though.

2006-12-26T05:55:00.000+08:00

you know.

very few things can make me cry.

like. sad movies. and tortured kitties.

but what really gets my tears going is

WHEN THE VIDEO STOPS LOADING HALFWAY DURING THE MOST EXCITING PART AND IT WOULDN'T LOAD NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES YOU REFRESH IT.

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

that and fans that don't work. like the fucking useless piece of metal masquerading as a electric fan in my bedroom.

ARRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2006-12-21T13:05:00.000+08:00

The Importance of Being Elite

FUNNY!

yay.

2006-12-18T01:09:00.000+08:00

some people are like brainwashed sheep following the shepherd, mindlessly tailing his steps, never thinking for themselves. i suppose it's hard to when you're but one of the many sheep being herded around like cattle to slaughter.

it's disgusting.

- - - - - - enough about that though.

today's a happy day.

went to borders then kino.

and i bought two books and a poem. :D

went home, and had a little get-together with good friends, enjoyed their company and had lots of fun.

good friends, happy times.

awesome.

-ag

BLOOP.

2006-12-16T23:48:00.000+08:00

HELLO.

WOULD YOU LIKE TO DONATE? WE ARE TRYING TO RAISE FUNDS FOR A WILDLIFE SHELTER FOR ACRES. THANK YOU :D

okay. ag was down at PS today volunteering for ACRES, it was flag day all over again, but it's all for a good cause.

and since i am so not used to smiling, my face is completely spazzed now because i did the flag day thing the whole of 3 hours. gawd. and there was this once, there was a lady getting her purse outta her bag which contained a gazillion items, i stood there for the whole of 5 minutes smiling at her and my facical muscles completely sprained.

bah. and in case any of you are wondering, nope, i'm not paid to do any of this. okay. :D

so if you have time and money to spare, please head on down to Plaza Singapura tomorrow (I think they'll still be there) and donate to them! They have a booth set up selling t-shirts, badges and whatnots. :D

and they have mascots too.

You can visit their website and find out about what they do here>> http://acres.org.sg/

heh.

OH YEAH. i gave them like a stack of my hand-drawn stickers to give out too. :D i gave them out today too. heh heh. i gave them a stack of blank stickers too! so they can continue to do the sticker thingy. heh heh.

in other news.

i've found out that dogs fart too. and it's really stinky. bah.

SNOWY PLEASE STOP FARTING. ARGH.

HELLLLOOOOZZZ

2006-12-15T10:21:00.000+08:00

WAHAHHAHAHHAHA

i'm ALIVVEEEE...

okay here i must really thank all my faithful blog readers. like maddie, merv and chuang who came down support MAAD@PS. i kept wanting to post it then i forgot. :PPPP oops. I never expected you guys to come down and it was so fun meeting you! :DDD except for chuang because i wasn't there, but thanks nontheless. :D So THANKS GUYS!!!! *hugs*

and in other news...

i have been in concentration camp in school. not very productive though. :PPP but I'M TRYIIINNGGG... *cries* but anyways. it's all good fun. chunz and i + amy sometimes all camped in school from morning till night till we're chased by security. blahah. wheeeeee.

i'm such a slacker. ^_^

ah and to entertain you.

the various spastic expressions of me, taken by our maad customers. i seem to have reaaallly. reallllllllly. weird expressions.

WHY.? WHY DO I LOOK SO SPASSSTICCC...

first one is by maddie. heh. i stole it! :D

this one is by a russian couple who bought alot of our postcards and later emailed it to me.

isn't it so horrible to have one's memory of you like that. like, you go home after a trip and look through your photos and you see my spastic face and go. OH yeah! she's that illustrator who drew the postcards. and she looks like that!

T_T

ah well. deep impression lah huh.

oh well....

AND!

we will be down at TAKA on the 23/24th Dec @ the iForum thingy to sell our stuff! :D operating time is 12m-9pm again but we might be leaving earlier on the 23rd because I AM GOING TO A B-QUARTET GIG. WAHAHAHAHAHAH.

oh well. not really b-quartet la. more like one man solo show. BUT I GOTS HIS AUTOGRAPH. HEHEHEHEHEHEEHHHH

ahhhh

2006-12-10T23:46:00.000+08:00

yes ag is terribly sorry for the lack of updates in this blog. i have no idea where the dayS went - it just WHIZZED past like some hyperactive bumble bee on adrenaline. or something.

just returned from a day at MAAD Sunday down at the Red Dot Traffic Museum, it'll be our last day there - sad :( yes i know.. - because we've met so many amazingly friendly people there who keep FEEDING US! yummy food. yummmehhh... :D and the company was just awesome. made many good friends and had many funny moments and clients, all very interesting experiences.

but. what to do. FYP IS EVIL. EVIL EVIL EVIL - which reminds me. i haven't done anything AT ALL for my FYP. die. :PPPPPP but enough about that dreary topic. I AM GOING TO BLOG ABOUT

my mother.

yes. my mother. HAHAHAHHA. i think my mom's gone on a shopping spree today, but the thing is, the things that she buys for me is not my style AT ALL. what to do? die lor. Apparently some taiwan fashion show has been preaching the trend of rivets in handbags for the autumn/winter season, i just didn't have the heart to tell my mom that was like. i dunno how long ago la. but still. i'll probably stlll use the bag. just so she sees me carrying it and thinks that i like it.

...........

it's white btw. i think i'm gonna spray it black or something. with a stencil design perhaps. that'd be coollllssssss....

and i must now try prop my eyes open with toothpicks and do something to show pegs tomorrow. bahah. seeya folks

and HAVE YOURSELVES A MERRY LITTLE CHRISTMAS

or something i can't remember the lyrics quite right.

ah. the joy.

to the world.

blah blah blah.

random

2006-12-05T16:31:00.000+08:00

this is the dog trying to catch the mouse on the screen. he licked it too.

bahahahaha.

musing

2006-12-03T00:21:00.000+08:00

i was fondling my daler rowley sketchbook paper today i suddenly remembered the worksheets i used to do in primary school. you know, the old school pulpy recycled yellowish paper they photocopy homework on? i can totally recall the feel of the paper and the smell of it mixing with the 40cents red leaf ballpoint pen ink.

i think i have a paper fetish.

yes.

i do.

mmmmmm..........

but anyways. ag is now depressed over her lack of technical skills in drawing and worried about the over-ambitiousness of her final year project because it would sorely test her technical abilities (or lack thereof) to the maximum.

pray for me people. pray for me.

WHEE

2006-11-30T15:57:00.000+08:00

hello people.

sorry for the lack of updates, i've been REALLLLLYYY busy with the MAAD Sunday thingy on top of my final year project stuff. i must be insane. INSANEE!!!!

anyways. some stuff i showed in my presentation. more like sketches la. i'll be doing a zine thingy and if all goes well it'll be for sale too. muahhaa. yes. money. money money money.

okay that's about it for now i need to go meet chunz so we can paint wooden blocks at her house.

Ah. btw i have a new blog co-shared with chunz and grace >> http://pencilsandneedles.blogspot.com

eheh.

2006-11-30T09:02:00.000+08:00

WE LIVE IN SINGAPURA the MTV version

funny funny!!! thanks carol for rec :D

HELLO

2006-11-23T22:21:00.000+08:00

yes i apologize for not blogging earlier. i have been working, drawing, consulting and alternatively driving myself insane with lack of sleep.

and yes, details of the next MAAD SUNDAY. (do i sound like i'm money-crazed and only updating about the MAAD SUNDAY details every week? i really apologize if it feels that way. I AM SO BUSY I WANT TO SLEEP I NEED SLEEP!!!!)

okay, anyways.

details:

We will be at The Atrium, outside Plaza Sing.

FRIDAY 24 NOV

6.30pm - 9.30pm

SATURDAY 25 NOV - SUNDAY 26 NOV

10.00am - 9.30pm

Have new postcard designs as well!

and a special Christmas edition. there will be more to come!

yep. and i end this post here because i'm so tired and i need to write an essay for my boss. will update again.

>.<

Post-Maad.

2006-11-19T23:59:00.000+08:00

HELLO PEOPLE!

today is a REALLY tiring day. but really fun and happy. XD

i is happy today. WHEEEE! and i'd like to thank ALL the people who bought our postcards

and the people who came down specially to support.

which is

Cher Jo : HELLO!!!!!!!!! YOU!!! THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU VERY MUCHHHIIIEEE!!!!!!! *loves you* :))))))))))) and all my friends say you're very chio. hahahahahahhaha.

and

MERV: HELLO!!!!!! nice to finally see you in person, thanks for coming down to support!!!!! THANKSSSSSS!!! THANK YOU!!!!!

i hope i didn't scare anybody today.

the atmosphere at Maad is really quite nice, made some friends and got some cool namecards. and i bought. stuff. that i shouldn't have bought. because i. am. broke. now.

ah. oh wells.

happy is i.

THANKS CHER, and THANKS MERV!

nyahahahaha.

and btw, we're gonna be there for like one month, next week they have some designer fest thing going on (i'm not exactly sure what actually) and the whole thing is going to be moved to Plaza Singapura (not sure where either) for Friday, Sat and Sun.

i'll have new designs up by then

and people have suggested that we print shirts.

i'm not too sure when we're going to do that though.

oh. my. dog.

2006-11-18T15:04:00.000+08:00

wow.

HI MS LOW!!!! *Waves frenetically* HI MS LOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*bows and kowtows*

HI MS LOW!!! (notice i still don't dare to call you your given name :P)

i hope you're well and happy! :D you've made emmanuel and xiaobin comment on my blog. that's nothing short of a miracle. :P i'm kinda at a loss for words right now, but to echo what xiaobin said, thanks for everything Ms Low! i'd probably be a retard right now if you hadn't ~~scared~~ galvanised me into taking action about my future. THANK YOU! you're probably the most respected teacher in the history of NASS.

did you know we used to have watchers near the windows to see if you have left the teacher's room so we could stand up and prepare to greet you before you stepped into the classroom?

ah. good times, good memories.

Yes, and I apologise for all the grammatical and spelling errors on my blog. /(>.<)

p.s: i was in my school canteen when emmanuel instant-messaged me to tell me you left a comment on my blog. your comment made me laugh like a maniac in front of many people.

- - - - - - - -

Hello CHER JO! thanks for leading Ms Low here to me humble little blog.

- - - - - - - -

>> In Other News

I'm now pretty active on phreaque-art. check it every once in a while because i'll be uploading more drawings! WEEEEE!!!

WOOHOO!

2006-11-17T02:37:00.000+08:00

Okay, my bid for a stall @ the Maad Sunday Market is approved!

I will be setting up stall this Sunday, 19 Nov, selling postcards at $2 each.

All postcards are laser-printed on 250gsm vanilla matt paper with individual plastic pockets. :D More designs are going to be there because I'm setting up stall with a few friends of mine, so please head on down to support us!

Additional items to be sold (unconfirmed):

Chunz' super adorable hand-sewn plushie pouches for iPods and cards!!!
Prints of artworks by Grace.
Painted Japanese lanterns by Liyi.

Venue: Red Dot Traffic (Museum), 28 Maxwell Road. This fire-engine RED colonial-style building, just around 5 mins walk from Tanjong Pagar MRT station.

Time: Setting up from 10-11am, taking down from 6-7pm. Come anytime in between. :D

We won't be IN the MAAD Sunday Market per se, because we need the approval of the curators, but we're gonna set up stall outside. You shouldn't miss us. Heh.

P.S: I'll be placing blank cards for doodle collaborations! Colorpencils and Pens provided. Advised to bring your own sketch books, there are many artists/designers there! XD

postcards for sale!

2006-11-15T22:59:00.000+08:00

HELLO people.

the postcards ARE PRINTED! and are for sale!

going at $2/postcard.

Printed with laser printer on 250gsm vanilla matt paper, with individual plastic pockets.

good price right?!

BUY MORE LAH!

hahahahhahahahahhahah. i should be setting up a table @ maadsunday this sunday. approval is still pending.

will put up notice again. :D

meanwhile, you can continue to look @ them. :P you know you want them... you knowww...

HELP ME OUT HERE THANK YOU!!!

2006-11-14T00:32:00.000+08:00

OKAY.

ag is selling postcards.

so tell me :

- which ones you guys like (would buy)
- how much you would pay for it (size = 10cmx15cm)

because i'm testing out the market. :PPPPP

leave your comments too (you love it, hate it)!

thankkksssss!!!

1)

2)

3)

4)

5)

6)

7)

8)

9)

10)

POSTCARDS FOR SALE!

some people are retarded.

2006-11-12T17:58:00.000+08:00

Have you ever read one of those Aunt Agony letters, where stupid bimbos/bastards engaged in unprotected sex ask Aunt Agony if they will get pregnant through oral sex, or one of those where they ask if urinating after sex will prevent pregnancy because it washes the sperm out?

have you ever wondered what the anatomy will look like if one could get pregnant via oral sex/failure to urinate after sex?

assuming that the sperm travels down the trachea, past the esophagus into the stomach, and fertilizes the egg swimming in your stomach juices, you'd have two tubes connecting your stomach to your rectum (via small intestine) and urinary tract. which would mean that your kid is not only swimming in hydrochloric acid, it's also swimming in you urine - also assuming the sperm travelling up your urinary tract after sexual intercourse will also lead to your stomach where it fertilizes the egg.

so not only is the foetus submerged in hydrochloric acid and urine, your kid is also swimming in your partly digested food. and after the 9 month gestation period is up, you give birth to your kid via your urinary tract.

seriously. where do these retards come from?