Sunday, January 15, 2006


-> a portion of a fan-fic from

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“No trick there. They planted that in his mind for me to find, like some sort of recording. Only it wasn’t visual, more intuitive. I don’t know, I feel so stupid. Doc said I’d lost my objectivity.”

“Please don’t feel stupid. You never watch movies.”

“Unless you’re in them.” She put her arm around his waste.

They watched the lights slowing down and organizing themselves via spectrum--Yellows to one side, orange-reds towards the middle and purplish-blues to greens on the other end.

funny? yes. hell yes. i nearly killed myself laughing.

HaHahahaHaHaHHHHHAaaaahahahah! ! ! !

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oh yeah, i accidentally downloaded porn while i was downloading southpark. :/

the woman's boobs are like *FIRM* balls and that guy's penis was disgusting - the skin was like wrinkly and saggy.

she had like this toned, firm body while the guy was this flabby surfer dude whose thigh jiggled everytime he *ahem*.

and the way they switched positions while going at it was hilarious.

- - -
male : shit, we have to change positions so that those horny bastards wanking themselves off to this video can see multiple positions. dammit let's do it from behind.

female : yes yeah yeah go down on me. *2 fake moans*

male :are you done? we should move on to the next position.

female :*oh yes baby, moan moan whimper*

director: hey you two done with the doggy? let's do the horsy position. wait, they do it doggy style too? damn shit. alrighty then let's consult the karma sutra on kinky sex positions.

it didn't help that the guy had this constipated look on his face the whole entire time. i don't know what's his problem considering his face looks like a truck ran over it + he was like flabbby all over and the woman was this gorgeous blonde with a great body. or maybe people just look like that when having sex?

i might just have been turned off from sex for the rest of my life.

and just in case you were wondering why the hell i watched it at all...

it's the morbid curiosity syndrome thingy. you know you shouldn't but your eyes are glued.



it just occured to me why the guy was so fugly.

we all know how fragile the male ego is. and therefore to have this gorgeous guy screwing this gorgeous girl would be more than their egos can take. they need somebody ugly with physical imperfections so they can better relate to him - or feel superior to.

i feel sorry for the woman.

it makes me wonder if porn for females feature ugly women and gorgeous men?

anybody knows?