Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

*Disclaimer : This poster is taken from the official Charlie and the Chocolate Factory website. I do not own the rights to this, blah blah blah.*


I finally watched Charlie and the Chocolate Factory today! By myself of course. I don't know why people think people who watch movies alone by themselves are pathetic. Hmm. Actually I think those who don't (dare to) are even more pathetic, just shows that they have no confidence in themselves. The funnier ones are those who eat by themselves but keep texting or calling somebody - just to show that they have friends. -_-" Honestly, that is lame. Really REALLY lame.

Okie back to the movie.

*WARNING. FAN GIRL GUSHING AHEAD.*

OMG! I LOVE TIM BURTON. TIM BURTON IS GENIUS! I LOVE JOHNNY DEPP! REAALLY REALLY REALLY!!!

blah blah blah blah...

Okie, now that is over and done with, let's get on to the movie review.

As usual, FANTASTIC set design - you can almost see Burton's stamp on it. One look is all it takes to recognise the Tim Burton trademark.

Opening scene was great, alot of machinery stuff - a la Edward Scissorshand opening scene but modernised.

Johnny Depp was great too in his portrayal of Willy Wonka - really really psychotic.

Great costume design too.

Oompa Loompa dance sequences are hilarious!

There was this part that reminded me of the stop-motion James and the Giant Peach - (not surprising considering Burton had a hand in it too.)

BUT - just because I'm a rabid fangirl doesn't mean that I'm blind.


TIM BURTON HAS SUCCUMBED TO MAINSTREAM CULTURE.


NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooo...

I think Burton's been lazy recently - okie, not really lazy. He's got a few movies coming up. Maybe the term is harried. The designs for the chocolate wrappers are shitty. Some scenes are really kinda crap, and I hate the ending. Honestly, Tim, you can do better. MUCH BETTER

WHERE'S THE MAN WHO MADE EDWARD?
WHERE''S THE MAN WHO MADE SLEEPY HOLLOW?
WHERE'S THE MAN WHO MADE BIG FISH?!?!?

WHERE???!!?!?!?!

The "happily ever after" ending seemed forced and out of sequence. Mainly a crowd pleaser but it really sucks. SUCKS I TELL YOU. Not that I am against a happy ending, but it is just too weird from the direction he was going.

*Sigh*

Even worse is the audience. Moronic, loud and irritating.

I suay suay have to sit beside this bunch of TWEENAGERS. Eck. The worst of the lot I tell you. Wouldn't stop their incessant yakking.. crunch crunch of the potato chips.. yak yak yak.

Then I got pissed, changed seats just before the show started. went right to the front. Nobody in front or beside me, had the whole row plus the ones ahead all to myself.

WOOHOO!

But it didn't last long. This mom came in about 10 minutes after the show started - along with her 3 annoying bratty kids. Bunch of snot-nosed little brats. I had to move one seat over - my fault actually - and then just settled down to continue watching.

20 minutes into the show, brat no. 1 got impatient.

"MOMMY! I WANT TO GO TO THE TOIILET!"

Me thinks : Grrrrrrrr....

Mom : " SHHHHH.."

Me thinks : GRRRRRRRR....

"MOMMY, I NEED TO GO TO THE TOILET NOW!"

Stupid little brat. Kiam pah I tell you.

Mom : "LAter okie, later I bring you go toilet."

Me talks : Excuse me, can you stop yakking? I didn't pay 7 bucks to listen to you talk.

Mom : SORRY LA. *Glares at me.*

Me : *Glares back*

Mom : *Looks away*

Me thinks : GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!

Oh man. She needs to be slapped too, this Mom. Great example she's setting for the kids eh. Inconsiderate bitch.

Then this Chinese guy behind me

Chinese Guy : WAH LAU EH. 他在干什么？WAH KAO! 很好笑LEH! 哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈！！ 哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈！！！

And for the rest of the show we had this runnning chinese commentary.
Honestly, dude. WE HAVE EYES. WE KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON. YOU DON'T HAVE TO POINT OUT EVERY SINGLE PART YOU THINK IS FUNNY TO EVERY FUCKING BODY IN THE CINEMA. It seems like EVERY TIME I fucking go to the cinema I run into these kinda people. WHY? WHY? Bloody morons.

Not to mention that they usually laugh at the slapstick humor parts.

my gawd. Tim Burton is reduced to SLAPSTICK HUMOR.

Evidence? Johnny Depp walked face into the glass elevator. Not once, but TWICE.

WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU TIM? GO SEE A SHRINK OR STH! IT IS NOT FUNNY COMING FROM YOU. STOP THIS! STOPPP IT RIGHT NOW!

Okie. I was like the only one laughing at the morbid parts. I've been told I have a weird/morbid sense of humor. What's wrong with that? :/

By the way. 2 handphones rang in the middle of the movie. YOU STUPID FUCKERS. SWITCH YOUR BLOODY PHONES TO SILENT MODE BEFORE YOU ENTER THE DAMNED CINEMA. THAT IS CALLED COURTESY AND RESPECT YOU FUCKING UNDERSTAND?

Hmm. I don't know why parents brought their kids to watch this. They probably wouldn't be able to appreciate it for what it is - even with all the slapstick humor and happily ever after ending, it's still usual Tim Burton fare - which means to say, most Singaporean morons like the ones mentioned above wouldn't be able to grasp the finer points.

:/ HOW COULD THEY LAUGH AT JOHNNY DEPP WALKING FACE INTO THE ELEVATOR?
HAVEN'T THEY SEEN THAT ALL BEFORE IN COUNTLESS OTHER MOVIES WITH COUNTLESS OTHER ACTORS/ACTRESSES?

But then again. Tim Burton just SHOULDN'T HAVE ADDED THAT IN. It's stupid and cliche. I hate it.

I don't understand why they call Tim Burton's version "darker" than the original version. If you think about it carefully, Willy Wonka in Dahl's version ain't that innocent either. He basically used the Oompa Loompas as lab rats. What's so innocent about that? He wasn't just eccentric. He was mad.

Sigh. I hate the average Singaporean movie goer. They should just all rot in hell. :/

*SIGH* I hope Corpse Bride lives up to my expectation. :(

VERDICT : 3 Stars. Quite disappointing for a rabid Tim Burton fan. Would have given it 4 stars if I were a regular movie goer.


Oh well. I got Downfall today! Yay! This german film about Hitler. Can watch it at home without any disturbance. Good good.