Thursday, May 25, 2006

An excerpt

"First off, she was wearing a hat that must have had at least two stuffed birds, if not three, not to mention a big blue bow and a couple dozen flowers. Hat like that stands out in a crowd. I hoped we didn't end up sitting behind her in church, because it was so high even Hiram wouldn't have been able to see over it if he was sitting down.

But that wasn't all you noticed about the lady, though I'll admit a real gentleman wouldn't have been thinking such things. If she'd been a plow horse, she would have needed an extra big collar - she had one of the biggest, deepest chests I'd ever seen on a woman. She carried it thrust well out in front of her and was following it very determined like. She couldn't hardly help it, since it was aimed straight at the church door. It wasn't that she was fat, mind you, because she wasn't. But she was built mighty solid."

"That lady," says Hiram, "is Mrs Julius T. Carter. I thought you oughta know. She's a widow lady and she's bound and determined to get her daughter, Miss Sophronia, married off that she won't let any bachelor in town who's not a drunk or in jail get by without a howdydo. If she ever gets you backed up to the fence, so to speak, well..." He didn't say what would happen, but he shook his head real sad and sort of tsk tsked, and then he scrunched up his forehead as if it pained him even to think about it.

It wasn't until he mentioned the daughter that i noticed the tall, slim lady following after Mrs. Carter. Have to admit, any man would tend not to notice her if her mother was around. She was dressed in brown and there was a small brown bow on her straw hat, but no birds or flowers or anything. The hat sort of blended in with all the brown hair she had piled up on top of her head. She didn't wear any of the fancy curls that ladies seem to like these days, and her suit was real plain, too. Neat and trim, but plain.

Most of all, though, she hadn't been blessed with her mother's bossom. Fact is, she was pretty near flat as my best plowed field, and she didn't seem to have made much effort to hide that fact because her jacket was plain and neat, but didn't have any of those ruffles and folds and whatnot that ladies usually wear, usually the flat-chested ones. As if a man couldn't tell the difference.

As i say, a real gentleman wouldn't have noticed, but I've never made any claim to being a gentleman, even if Mama always said the girls chased after me because I was polite as well as good looking. Mama was confused about a lot of things, and it never did surprise me to know she was confused about her only son along with everything else."

Summer Fancy - Anne Avery

* i'm taking a break right now. BAHHHH... off to my annual report"