self portrait

yep. thats me alright.

:(

argh
argh argh
argh argh argh
argh argh argh argh
argh argh argh argh argh
argh argh argh argh argh argh
argh argh argh argh argh argh argh
argh argh argh argh argh argh argh argh
argh argh argh argh argh argh argh argh argh
argh argh argh argh argh argh argh argh argh argh
argh argh argh argh argh argh argh argh argh argh argh




help.

I swear,

you live to irritate.
like a persistent insect,
hovering (hands spread)
the edges of my conscious.

Open your mouth,
an endless scream.
Somebody please gag them,
stuff a socket in.

please.

Mama, Mama,
carried away in the womb,
abortion isn't illegal.

I swear,
you live to irritate.

bored.

yes you can tell. i wanna eat pastaaaaa....
T_T


doing my fyp now. in school. with the loooouuuuussssyyyy connection and waiting to use the bloody scanner.

...

i woke up this morning with William Hung singing She Bangs in my head.

not a good omen. definitely not a good omen.

ARGHHHHHHHHHH

HOWWW DAAAREEE YOUUUUUUUUU FUCKING SINGTELLLLLLL!!!!!!!!
BLOCK MY FANFICTION!!!!! YOU BASSTARRRRDDDSSSS!!!!

FUUUUUUCK YOU!!!!!

DIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!

ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH ! ! ! ! !






fuck fuck fuck. assholes.

GYABO!

chiaki sempai.... kakkoi ne~~~~~






cover of my zine. first issue.

i'm going to dieeeeeeee...........

good byeeee....











btw. did you know.

• The nursery rhyme Ring Around the Rosey is a rhyme about the bubonic plague. Infected people with the plague would get red circular sores (Ring around the Rosey…). These sores would smell very bad so people would hide flowers on their bodies in an attempt to mask the smell (”pocket full of posies…”). People who died from the plague would be burned to reduce the spread of the disease (”ashes, ashes, we all fall down”).


• MARILYN MANSON IS DIVORCED. ARGH! okie. i knew it sometime back. but i just forgot to post it. ARGH!

YAYYYYYYY

i still love you desmond! THANKS!!! SO MUCH!!! love my website!!! XDDDD

anyways. i've switched to blogger gmail thing. will get a flickr account soon.

+

FYP SUCKS!

that's all.


merchandise merchandise merchandise.

HOLY CRAPPPP


MY WEBSITE LOOOKSSS GOOOOOODDDDD



LOVVVVVVVVVVVVVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE <3 desmond! XD

happy happy happy happyyyy!!!!!!






nyahahahhahahhahaha.

haiya. there's this siao ting tong banging on the piano in my block.






fucking nice.
hateeeeeeeeeee..........


hate hateeee.....

jealous. :(





late nights not good. my face is now home to countless pimples.


bahhhh. and the dark eyebags. lets not even go there.

rambling nonsensical sleep deprived musing

here i am watching the sun set and bathe the neighbourhood in bright orange light, listening to yo-yo ma on my iTunes and looking at the rain through the metal grills of my window and it strikes me as funny. isn't it supposed to be grey when it rains? why then, is it so hot and humid still? the heat is killing me and i have my fan on still looking at the rain while cursing at the sun.

and just as suddenly as it starts, it stopped. kind of stopped anyways. i can't really see the droplets of rain but i still hear it falling. or maybe it's because of my vision? it always amazes me how fast the sun sets and the way the colours in the sky changes.

i always like spelling colour with a "u" as opposed to color. why is that i wonder? that makes me like one over the other? is it not a waste of pen ink while writing?

now it's a faint bluish pink tinged with a bit of orange. because the sunlight's so strong, it sorta dilutes the colours. the most vibrant colours almost always comes when the sun is about to go away i think. then when the sun changes position with the moon, it wants to let us remember him. what arrogant thinking that the sun revolves around us. and why do i instinctively refer to the sun as a him? an unconscious reference to Apollo? i wonder. even the name "sun" seems masculine to the ear.

some kid is squeaking his squeaky toy right now.

squeak squeak squeak.

now the rain really has stopped. but the sky is grey.

what irony. is it laughing at me i wonder. for writing an entire post about bright rainy skies.

bloop bloop bloop.

GAHAH.

hello lovelies.

i sound so gay. :D

this is my FINAL YEAR PROJECT. or part of it anyways. geheh. i realize you can't see shit from the tiny weeny itsy bitsy images... but i'll still post it up nontheless. just to show you that i've been working hard. and to whet your appetites for more. :P




oh yes. it'll probably be available for sale. :D *kaching!* but of course. friends get preferential treatment. :D i'll give you more free stuff.

i'm shameless i know. and on a side note. ag has matured a lot since...infancy? infantile days? in secondary school. buried some hatchets, reconciled with people from my past. and yada yada yada.

i'm a nice person. :D

introspection

i realized that actually when it comes to conceptual illustration, i'm an extremely slow worker. when i plan to draw something, i usually take at least 5 times more the time i need to compared with a spontaneous drawing - probably because i usually don't have a plan when i begin drawing. sometimes i see where the lines take me, sometimes i have a vague visual or concept, and this excites me because i don't know how the drawing will end up taking me.

but with a planned piece, i lose interest extremely quickly.

like. EXTREMELY.

which is why i like to work on several illustrations simultaneously, or stop drawing for a while and take a break, read the news, eat ice cream, stuff like that throughout the day. BAHAHAHAHHA. *excuses, excuses! for being a lazy slacker :P* i don't think it's detrimental though. it helps with idea generation sometimes. you take a break from it and then you see it from a fresh perspective. what you can put in to improve the drawing, what should be left out, etc, etc...

the more drawings that i do, the more i fall in love with drawing. but when i surf the web and i see artists more accomplished than i am, i get jealous. and my jealousy fits makes me so much more determined to improve my art. so i draw some more. and then i fall in love again. it's a weird cycle, but it's something i can see me doing for my entire life.


NO TIME IS WASTED WHEN DRAWING!





i read this blog entry by a fellow illustrator and it totally blows my mind away because it is exactly what i would have written if i actually bothered to sit down and type away at a blog entry. so i'll be lazy and apple+c, apple+v everything here.

it's quite a lengthy post so brace yourselves - if you actually read it, that is.

"Most of the time, I don't have a plan when I draw. Well, I have a plan in that I'm trying to draw something, but beyond that I find that it sort of evolves, often into something completely unrelated to the original. Here, I started out trying to draw a beautiful woman. Somehow it evolved into something androgynous and unrecognizable in comparison to the photo that was my inspiration.

It made me think about this article that I read in Wired Magazine about the nature of artistic genius. Economist David Galenson did a study of artists and discovered that there were two basic types--those who created their most valuable work in their youth and those that seemed to experience a steady rise in their creativity that peaked toward the end of their lives. Further exploration revealed to him that there are essentially two kinds of innovation and genius.

The first is what he calls conceptual innovation. These are the people who have a picture in their minds of what they want to create and in a series of bold, sharp moves they create it. Picasso is an example of this type--someone who created an entirely new style of art (Cubism) and who "jolted art in a new direction."

The second group are the experimental innovators. These people progress in fits and starts, trying new things, discarding them, moving in a slower progression with insights from one small experiment getting incorporated into the next in an evolutionary process that ultimately can end up someplace entirely different from where they began. Galenson places Cezanne in this second group--working endlessly to perfect his technique, he moved slowly toward a goal that he never fully understood. As a result, some of his best work didn't come until the end of his life.

Galenson argues that this insight isn't confined to art, that it is, in fact, a way of looking at all sorts of creativity and innovation. He applied it in his own field of study--economics--and discovered that it held true for them, too.

Reading this created one of those "aha" moments for me. In all facets of my life I find that I'm more experimental than conceptual. I tinker and play around with things, never totally sure where I'm going, but knowing when I get there. I find that I'm often jealous, though, of those who are more conceptual, particularly when it comes to creating art. Somehow it seems to me that the essence of being an artist is knowing where you're going. Intellectually I know this isn't true, but emotionally, I have a hard time letting go of that proposition.

I think that part of my discomfort with the more experimental approach is the feeling that I get that our society values conceptual innovation more. We're drawn to early genius and to the idea of having a clear, knowable path. Somehow there's a kind of comfort in believing that people know where their going and what they're doing and the idea of evolution of ideas is disconcerting--what if they end up some place that we don't like?

I find, though, that lately I'm getting more comfortable with this more experimental way of living. I'm trying to actually be thoughtful in my experimentation, to know and accept that it's my own way of getting through life. I'm working on accepting that and being OK with uncertainty. It also means having to let go of perfectionism and embracing risk, but hey, at almost 43 years old, isn't it time that I did those things anyway?"

taken from http://lovekandinsky.blogspot.com/






and i shall post up some of my FYP illustrations soon! prolly just photos tho.

>>back to work!

GEHHHH!!!

PEGGY IS EVIL EVIL EVIL EVIIIILLLLL!!!!!!!!!!! 6 spreadss by friday! NOOOOOOOO!



my doggy likes to step on my drawings while i'm drawing. damn dog. i think he's jealous i don't pay any attention to him. BAH.

Britney Spears Has a Bald Front Bum!

heh.

erhx...

i dun geddit u noe?

y do the peepz fr all e gud skulz lyk 2 type lyk dis lehx? n i do mean gud skulz.

i find it fucking irritating.

you turds.



*edit*


okay updates. it is now 4.16am in the morning and...

ag's fyp is...sorta....kina.......possibly going according to plan a.k.a. MISSION TO ACCOMPLISH FYP BEFORE DEADLINE ON FEB 14th.

i don'ot know why i'm so hung up about the fact that it is on the Feb of 14th. I mean, I don't have anybody special (in that way) to celebrate it with, I don't even like that occasion, and I especially loathe watching couples having a free-for-all PDA session 24/7 at all locations. it's just sick.

bah.

I suppose i should be glad that we have such... depraved lecturers in school then.





>> so many people have asked me what the hell i'm doing for my fyp but walked away thoroughly confused. nyahah. ag is doing a ZINE!

what's a zine you ask?

according to dictionary.com, it is a

zine also 'zine (zēn) Pronunciation Key
n.
An inexpensively produced, self-published, underground publication

read more about the zine at wikipedia, the most trusted online encyclopedia. i loves wiki. XD ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zine )



okay, so you now know what a zine is. the question remains. wtf are you doing for your fyp?

ILLUSTRATION BABY. i'm doing an illustrated zine. and if all goes well, it'll be up for SALE. *kaching* i hear the registers ringing.

i'm high. can you tell that i'm high?

i'm like extremely high on i have no idea what.

Toybox - Tarzan and Jane

brings back good memories huh? :P

first post of the new year

finger on mousepad. forgive my laziness. i cannot be bothered to locate my tablet. T_T

ohhhhh myyyyy gooooodddddddddddd......

i feel like cartman after he's been through the warcraft marathon thing. like bloated and fat and everything T_T


OH YES. happy new year to E V E R Y B O D Y ! ! !

i can smell my mom's cooking downstairs. wheehehehehehehe. ba kut teh amongst other stuff ^_^

and this will be the last post in a while, i'll be focusing on my Final Year Project.

thanks everyone! love you guys! all the best in the New Year!